Sometimes Life Is Hard

This week has been hard.

On Sunday, I had a pain spike and had to go into the ER.

That's never fun.

It started out with a feeling of getting sick - like a flu that makes it hard to breathe and makes you dizzy.

You can read more about that ER visit here,

and read more about my mystery illness here.

Then, on Tuesday, tragedy struck.

You see, about 2 or 2 1/2 weeks ago, I found out that we were going to have another baby.  I was elated!  But nervous at the same time because of all the weird meds I've been on, and because of my CPT 2 Deficiency.  I know pregnancy can be done safely for the mom and the baby, but I don't know that my body is ready just yet.  I'm going to have to get a little more balanced.

Anyway...  The weird flu-like feeling didn't go away and it was starting to get worse.  I was also starting to get a sore throat.  So I did what I always do when I'm getting sick.  I got into a fairly hot shower.  I was kind of prepared for what happened (but not completely) because I had been kind of spotting and a little crampy for about 3 days, but it really wasn't bad enough to worry about.

I lost the baby in the shower on Tuesday.

I literally sat down in the shower and cried.  I don't know if I'll ever get another chance at this.

This was a miracle in and of itself, since my husband has had a vasectomy.  We were shocked and surprised.

The kicker is...  I know we're supposed to have another baby.  Now, whether we have one of our own or adopt, that's up to the Lord, I think.  The only problem with adopting is that we can't afford it right now.  Even the amazing pricing of LDS Family Services.  There's no way we could do it right now, but I really feel like that child needs to come to our family and they need to come soon.

I'm at a loss right now...  I have no ideas, no way to make extra money (because of my condition), and very little hope.

Anyway...  Back to my worst week ever.

On Tuesday night, after I lost the baby, I started feeling really sick.  By Wednesday morning, I had tonsils the size of walnuts.  By Thursday morning, they were so big that I couldn't really talk because they would rub up against each other and it would hurt.  Then I looked in the mirror at my throat and decided it was time to head to the doctor.

The doctor did a strep test.  Her words were, "Yep!  It's definitely positive!"  She told me that it must be really bad if it still showed up while I was taking antibiotics.  Then she felt around on my neck a little more and asked me a ton of questions.

Then she informed me that she's almost positive that I have mono.

MONO!?!?

What the heck?

But that would explain why I can't do much of anything because I'm so tired, and my sore throat, and a lot of other things.

Like I said, this week has been awful.

Terrible.

Not good.

So, I am sorry my dear friends, I will not be able to visit you for at least 4 weeks...

*cry*

I have talked to a few people who have asked if they could do anything to help me.

The answer is yes.

I could really use some help getting my kids ready for school on Thursday and Friday of this next week.  I could also use some help with the dishes - they're overflowing.  And maybe some help with folding the baskets of laundry that I have sitting here.  I literally can't do a thing, so anything you want to do would help me out.

And prayers.

Those are easy, usually pretty quick, and free.

And I think they help more than anything else, so prayers are ALWAYS welcome!

Please.

Well, I'm off to watch some movies or TV shows on Netflix streaming on our XBox 360 or play something on my laptop.